Kelsey Its A Wild World

yes or no?
May 27, 2010, 3:25 am
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yes or no? i just got a text, do you love him, yes or no?. Fucking A, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

memorial day weekend starts tomorrow. finally, some time outside of Athens to think. Thank God my two soulmates will be there with me.

Fried turkey, here we cummmmm.

i love you.


lost. not the show.
May 26, 2010, 2:40 pm
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I’ve come to a fork in the road, but this fork only has two prongs. Stay, or leave. it seems that i’ve exhausted all other costs, given one too many second, third, forth, fifth chances. but when is it enough? is love enough this time? my mind is starting to slip onto the no spectrum, and that is so scary to me. i keep searching for signs, but still, come up with nothing. god, what do i do? i hate this feeling so much.

i love you.

Ohio University…Sorry for Partying.
May 25, 2010, 8:51 pm
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Athens, Ohio. A quaint college town nestled in the hills of the rolling Appalachian Mountains. For most it is a respected well-rounded college, however, it also is a college where liquor flows faster than the mighty Hocking.

Athens & Alcohol EDU

Even before you can enter as a freshman, the school has deemed it necessary to ask every student to complete Alcohol EDU, an online course in which students learn that it is bad for your mental and physical health to consume alcohol. However, according to an article in Athens’ main paper, The Post, plans to cut Alcohol EDU are in effect, because students simply aren’t learning anything new. You mean, you’re not supposed to blackout every night? Who knew?


A typical college necessity, beer is used throughout the duration of the school year, and for most (especially girls) it is consumed simply for the effect, never the taste. Natural Light, Keystone, and Bud Light seem to be the favorites, again not because of the taste, but because of the low-college-student-budget cost.

Court Street

Court Street houses many upperclassmen, employs most of the jobs off campus, and is a haven full of bars. Court is the place to be on the weekends. Whether you’re a sober spectator or a sloppy drunk mess, there will never be a dull moment on the one-way brick road.


Sadly, almost every OU student must go through the love/hate relationship of dorm life. Whether you’re pre-gaming, or suffering a horrendous hangover, your dorm room will be your house. If you can call a ten by twelve foot room a home. (Bathroom not included) Although rough at times, dorms can be a party within themselves, just don’t get caught by RA’s or prowlers in forest green Polos. (Lesson learned.)


One part liquor, one part young adults. You do the math.


Perhaps what Ohio University is known for. Each spring, various streets in Athens throw monster parties, with kegs and hard liquor for all. Mill, Oak, Palmer, and High are just to name a few. However, after the riots and fires of these notorious fests, the city is beginning to crack down, according to an article from The Post about recent riot arrests. The funny thing is that more than 70% of people arrested do no attend OU for college, proving that we know how to be safe while blacking out.

Grab and Go

Pizza……… 1 swipe

Chicken Fingers…….. 1 swipe

Salad…….. 1 swipe

Choose cookies OR fruit.

…Gotta love the variety and healthy options.


Halloween. One of the biggest parties in the United States, where, according to the Post, the population of Athens more than doubles. Halloween in Athens is what puts us on the map. On a night where everyone can be whomever they want, Court Street turns into a scene from a dream. 25,000 wasted people in costumes, and still, there are more arrests on Moms Weekend. There’s nothing like the morning after Halloween, when the pipes burst because the excessive amount of people, and all you care about that drinking fountain you can’t take advantage of. I love college.

I Love College, OU Remix

“That party last night was awfully crazy.” Asher Roth wrote a song that quickly became the anthem for college party-goers throughout the nation. However, how many colleges can say they have a special remix to better fit their campus? “…awfully crazy just check the ratings, Oh you, no, OU is always top ten in the fucking nation. Pass out at three wake up at ten, go out to eat then do it again, man I love college.”

Jungle Juice

A drunken text conversation:

Me: Hey girl where r u

Emily: junnngle joose so yumm yum

Me: u mean hairy buffalo?

Emily: lost of liquotr, cut up fruit. Mu lipsx r stained rrreddd. COME HERE.

Me: roger that, see you soon. Be careful, boys are on the prowl.

Kegs n’ eggs

This is pretty much what it sounds like. Beer along with eggs, starting the first morning of Homecoming weekend off right.  Kegs n’ eggs is mostly a frat/sorority thing, but many people take part in these festivities, where beer is for breakfast. It’s grrrrreat!

Laughs and Laziness

Laughs when you’re drunk, laziness with the morning after.

“It’s fun to go out, sure, we laugh a lot, we have fun blah blah blah. But the morning after, lord help me, I have the worst hangovers in the world. Thank god for blinds, and nothing to do.” – Kaitlin Shultz, a sophomore at OU

Moms Weekend

According to The Post, most arrests happen on Moms Weekend. This year, 41 were taken to jail, a mix of mothers and their daughters. Not only are there the most arrests, also, CVS reports the most condom sales occur this weekend. Disturbing, yes, but the cougars seem to know that they want. Fundraisers by day, bars by night, Moms are welcomed to our small town without a second thought.


When students need a break from the crazy party life of Athens, Nelsonville is a short drive away. Even though its one of Ohio’s poorest towns, it still offers a $4 movie theater (perfect for college budgets) and a Fun Barn, complete with deer shooting video games and bumper hovercrafts. Some might call it another party all its own.


Obleness 454. My new home, an oasis from the Virgin Vault you will soon read about. A rickety old elevator with “Fuck” and “DAM Americans” carved into it, a vending machine covered in metal grates, it can only be home. The best part is its nickname of Obluntz, where the aroma of marijuana is ever-present, the source shall remain anonymous.


Easily the drunkest brawl of a party Athens has to offer. Palmerfest for the last two years has included over 5,000 people, cops on horses, and riots including furniture being lit on fire. It starts when the National Anthem is played at 7a.m., and eventually is shut down by law enforcement around midnight. The fact that OU students can drink for more than 12 straight hours is both impressive and scary. But by the end of the night, when the police night sticks and pepper spray come out, be happy you’re already in bed.

Quirks of Athens

Although most famous for our out of control party lifestyle, we do have a few quirky ideas to prevent problems related with our excessive drinking. Our president is our dad-away-from-home, who developed things like 594-RIDE to prevent drunk driving, and emergency polls, linked directly to 911. Thanks poppa McDavis.

Red Brick

Easily one of the best bars on Court, Redbrick plays old music from the 80’s and 90’s, and I must admit I have been up on the table with my girlfriends screaming the words along to “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey. Although Redbrick has seen me at my worst moments, it always opens me with open stamps.

South Beach

South green is the Party Green. Always cops outside the Front Four, kids yelling out of their windows at all hours, you name it. However, spring quarter marks the start of South Beach, a party on the front of South Green that lasts from 1-5 every day of the week. Bikini bods are displayed on brightly colored towels, volleyballs are spiked into the hot sand, and sweat drips down the washboard abs of the pickup basketball players. Some days, you could say South Beach is the new Miami.

Then and Now

A poster in Obluntz hung by the elevator that said that women at OU used to have a curfew of midnight on weekends. That was in the 70’s, where free love ran through the country. Now, its free range, love is just a side note.


Athens’ main attraction, what would usually be called downtown, however, since Athens is nothing but hills, its term more than fits.

Voigt Virgin/Vagina Vault

Dorm of all girls, estrogen racing through the halls faster than the supposed ghost who haunts it. One would think that all these girls, the Vault would be a big party. That would be wrong, everyone in this Dorm, where I myself once inhabited, is either a God Warrior or a complete mute, anti-social freak. Fuck you, Voigt hall.

Winter Quarter

Winter Quarter marks the slump in the party school. Almost everyone seems to suffer some sort of seasonal depression. Athenians miss the sun, and the fun that comes with it.


Although “pedestrians always have the right away” sometimes drunk people don’t exactly use their minds when crossing the road, especially stumbling out of the bars at 2 AM. Drivers beware; these people will stop at nothing to continue to afterhours.

Yellow Brick Road

ME: Hello?

BRITTON: KELLLLLLSSEEEYYYYYY I’m so lost, and drunk. Help me.

ME: OK, are you on a brick road?

BRITTON: Um, Athens Block. Does that mean yes?

ME: Yes.

BRITTON: Ok, well then yes best friend, I am on a brick road.

ME: Alright, just follow it home ok? Come home to mama

BRITTON: “Follow the yellow brick road. Follow follow follow the yellow brick road. Ok Kels, I’m off to see the wizard, see you soon!” (singing)


Z threw me for a loop. Not many Z words. But then it hit me, I still have two (possibly three) years to go in school still, so, I shall remain Z just as itself, because I have no doubts that I will come across another crazy OU party that involves being Zapped, or a Zoo, or something of that nature. That’s why I love OU, its always unpredictable, crazy, and home sweet home.

May 23, 2010, 3:52 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

what is a secret? something you shouldn’t tell other people, something other people don’t know about you, about your friends, about your loved ones? what about the ones you keep from other people, ones that you know you should tell, but you somehow just can’t. i’ve come across such secrets this year, ones i should have told my best friends to avoid heartbreak (lesson learned) secrets i kept from people i care about to protect a relationship i thought i cared about, or vice versa. but now….everything is out. everything has come clean, and theres nothing to fall back on, all the secrets are used up. this isnt witty, sorry kait, but its true feelings, as gay as that might sound. at least 2 McDonalds cheeseburgers are helping with the pain. the pain of a secret ruining a relationship. the same secret, a different time. and whats even worse, he’s still trying to make it a secret. you’re caught redhanded. games over. so stop playing.

this just came up on stumble. that is fucked up.

anyways, i hope it was worth it, because he put yet another dent in this already wrecked machine we call a relationship. only this time i’m sorrys can’t be the oil to make it run, it’s come to a stop, engine is broken, and theres nowhere to go.

i love you.

the one who made me
May 17, 2010, 11:21 pm
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Kim and i have the weirdest relationship i have ever come across. one day, we can be laughing our asses off about how i was a tomboy and loved reptiles when i was little, then the next minute i can realize she is a total cold bitch who has hurt every person shes touched. especially me. sure, she gives me money, and pays for everything. (and im forever thankful for that, despite what she may think or anyone else for that matter) but is the money and the paying for everything worth the crying episodes shes put me through over the past years? i hate saying it but honestly she is mentally abusive to me. Telling me i can go be a loser like my father, that i’m an ungrateful little bitch, blah blah blah. i dont even know why i let it upset me anymore, i’ve heard it all before, but even though i should be 100% desensitized, its like salt in a wound with every word. my favorite one when i was little was “go ahead, go live with your dad” nothing like feeling unwanted when you’re an only child caught in the middle of two parents who hate each other. my dads always been supportive, yeah, he hasnt been there finincally, but hes been there for me in ways kim could not even begin to understand. this doesnt go to say that i dont love my mom, because most days i do, but she is a bi-polar tornado, who when she chooses to destory, you better not be in her path. even andrew was shocked at how she yells at me (this weekend), i do NOT think he knows what hes in for. this summer should be interesting.

i love you.

lessons learned
May 11, 2010, 1:17 am
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Palmerfest was a mild success. I passed out at 5-9, had a hang over 9-3am. threw up a lot. including over the side of the catwalk by o’bluntz. so yes, a mild success is not a under or an over statement. it took a lot out of me however, slept all day with brock today, skipped both classes, but its ok, i can hold my own.

i almost ruined my relationship. i will admit on this tell-all blog, i am a hypocrite. i hate that about me, but i am, there is simply no denying. i’m pathetic. i forbid the person i love to talk to any girls, while i simply hide my friendship. the truth came out, not the way i wanted it to, it should’ve been at day one, then this problem wouldntve ever erupted in the first place. chalk it up to a lesson learned though, now i know that honesty is ALWAYS the best policy, and i’ve learned that my heart will always pick him over any stupid throwaway friend who happens to know where the parties are. this is pointless, i will not lie to the people i love from here on out. you have my word.

i love you.

May 6, 2010, 5:25 am
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did i drive you away? i know what you’ll say.

i feel like i’ve made major life mistakes. is it too late for me to conquer the things i saw myself doing as a child, as a young and reckless teenager? i thought i would be somewhere else than where i am now. i’m not proud of myself. i’m ok with who i am, but i’m not ok with what i’m doing. i feel like i’m wasting precious years that are dubbed “the best years of your life” the fact that their slipping through my fingers like grains of sand stuck in an hour glass is terrifying.

i guess its luck but its the same. hard luck you’ve been ttrying to tame. maybe its love but its like you said.

love is like a role that we play.

i want to be proud of myself.

Chasing the ghosts, of a good thing. haunting yourself, as the real thing. its getting away from you again,

but you’re chasing ghosts.

i love you.