Kelsey Its A Wild World

becoming people
February 24, 2011, 4:09 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

“We come into the world as individuals, achieve character, and become persons”

^ I read this quote in a reading from coms 235 by an author named Goffman. it means that we are all born equal, and then throughout our lives we achieve our personality. it is after our personality findings when we become people. people who put up fronts, who fake who they are until they eventually believe the fronts they’ve put up. i wish i had a front. i wish i have a fake brave face, because then maybe eventually i would believe that i am brave myself. joseph talked about flipping over the egg in the frying pan because you know its done, but not being able to move your hand with the spactula in it, because you think “if its not done, its ruined.” what where i am. i am in limbo between two directions of my life. i wish i had my brave front. no, actually, i wish i could be brave without having to put on a front at all.

at least until i figure out when to flip my egg, i have adderall, nyquil, and alcohol.

in a limbo-spinning world of confusion, i love you.


never say never
February 21, 2011, 5:01 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

once again. i’m alone.

this title is a play on words. i am watching chelsea lately right now and bieb is on promoting his movie. neversaynever. thats basically what brock and i told each other yesterday morning when we broke up. i called him, and for the first time we both agreed that being alone was better for both of us, instead of staying in this constantly fighting relationship. we are both exhausted of fighting. but now, i am tired of crying already. and its only been a few hours. they say time heals everything, but i’m still waiting. i dont know if i will be able to be healed. writing isnt working anymore. crying just gives me a headache. texting other boys that are just a shell of friends just makes me miss him more. hes the one who knows me. who knows the curves on my hips, the smell of my hair. i know that this is right. that time will be able to heal me. time apart will hopefully allow us to grow, and therefore allow us to come back together one day with a strong and mature relationship. one where facebook and cellphones arent an issue. but until then, ill never say never.